Date a girl who watches football.
It's all awesome and hunky dory having this ability to smile with your girlfriend, laugh with her, laugh when she makes a joke about your appearance, watch a film about a rapist who sadistically kills off women (or men), talk about the G with her or drink with her. But ever had this ability to have a shouting match at 2 in the night over Skype about why "your" football club is greater than "her" football club? This feeling of wanting to back off and letting your girl win the argument. But the good, or the strange, thing about that is that you feel good. Like a sort of satisfaction that you have seen your girl win an argument. Trust me, it's good. (Girls, it is not letting my girl win the argument. It is she being able to win it anyway. So have no issues over that). Now, I know for a fact that a lot of male egos get brain damaged if they let someone else win an argument over football. I have no shame in admitting that my girl pwns me at it: all day long, all night long. It's worth it. No, I'm not a loser. My girl is a winner.
Now, I'm not dating my girl just because she watches football. That would be rather shallow and very crude. I'm dating my girl because I love her. But football adds that bit of zing to the whole thing. You talk of making love, you talk of that long beach holiday with your better, or bitter, half holding hands and walking into the horizon. And suddenly you see a ping: "Fuck dude", or "Shit man", or "Fuck", followed by a "United just scored, fucking scums". Or a "Gary Speed is no more." or something like that. Couples who are not really into football, or sports, might think this is an erection kill but I actually beg to differ. Your erection doesn't get affected. Your sexual desire is still the same. Your male libido is by no way made to feel inferior because you are seeing someone who is better than you at football. If anything, it gives you an opportunity to bond further.
Romantic candlelit dinners, followed by a long walk in the park under a crescent-shaped moon, coming back home, canoodling her, before finally letting her sleep in your arms. They are all part of being a perfect (?) boyfriend. But when you find someone who trawls youtube for that one moment of Steven Gerrard madness against Olympiakos in a Champions League game some years ago, you know readily she's the one. You need not empty your wallets lingering over the Dolce and Gabbana or the Fendi section in the local supermarket. Just go to some torrent website and download Liverpool, or Man United's, or Brazil's, or any football significant clip from the last 50 years. She will immediately watch it. She will want to watch it with you. She will be smiling through out the video. She will give you awesome facts about the match or the matches that you are currently seeing. You see her smile. You smile. Win win. It is not to say girls say no to Fendi. it is to say gifts are more readily accessible and available for a girlfriend who watches football. And while the videos maybe cheap, they are worth their weight in gold; more than the actual gold you might want to get her.
You are having an intense discussion about Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi when you see this really cute, slender girl, the one who you even might have secretly had a crush on in high school, come and add her two pence to an argument: "I find Ronaldo cuter than Messi". None of that happens here. It's a proper debate.
Your girl's club just lost. You have just seen her go ballistic hitting her hand against the door, slamming the door shut before walking away from the house. What do you do? I would like to say try and placate her. Be soft to her. Try and tell her you guys were good and you will win the next game. And say what could have been. But no. Don't do any of that. She doesn't want any of that right now. All she wants right now is some private time. A time for reflection on the 90 minutes as a whole. You will lose her for sometime. But she will come back to you when the moment has passed. Give her a hug then. Don't talk about the game. Just gently hold her hand and listen to what she says about the game. She will talk about it. And then is your moment to say you could and probably should have won.
You don't have to worry about taking your girl out to the latest Edward Cullen-Bella saga, or to the newest Shoppers Stop in town when the weekend is here. You just need to get some beers, make popcorn, and look forward to an awesome evening of football with her. Be there with her when the game starts. While she wants to watch the football, she secretly wants to watch it with you. With you having your back against the wall or the bed and sitting down. And she having her head against your chest with your hands around her neck. It's better than watching football alone. It's much better than swearing at a rival player.
She won't talk about Bollywood or Shah Rukh Khan because she is as bad as you there.
Make sacrifices. Both of your clubs are playing at the same time and you have only TV? Allow her to watch the game while you follow yours online. Or stream it. You make her happy. If your club wins, you watch the action on Match of the Day. Or catch the highlights the next morning. If her club wins, she will pick you up. If both of your club wins, you will talk about honeymooning in the Swiss Alps or sharing a coffee the next morning over the morning crossword. If your club wins and she loses, do not mention about your club's result. Leave her alone for a while but she will come back to you. Pick her up then.
She's the one who will play FIFA on a playstation or FM online with you. Not the one who will urge you to get her the latest high heels in the market.
She's not high maintenance. You don't need to worry about anniversary gifts. A box set DvD, to her, is more valuable and more precious than that very rare diamond ring or ruby stone you saw last month at the jewellery store.
Be brave enough to date this girl. She can be intimidating with her knowledge. You might get scared. But you can just go on talking on and on and on without feeling tired or the need to have a fag or the need to get the hell out of that place. Both of you can go on and on and on about a particular match like it was played yesterday.
She will not only make a good wife to you, she will also be a great friend. A wife may just retire to the bedroom when you are watching Ghana take on Zimbabwe in the World Cup. This girl will be there, by your side, supporting Zimbabwe, or Ghana. Both of you will take turns in making that extra coffee mug which will help in staying the night.
Watch her go up and down almost hitting the ceiling fan in the process as her club scores against your club. It, in a way, gives you some sort of joy. Make no mistake; you will feel some sadness because your football club lost. But you will not mind that loss so much.
It's also relatively easy to pick her up. Her favourite club's best or more famous video from youtube and she should be smiling within sometime.
Dark, dangling lights in the middle of the night when you are watching your favourite club getting crowbarred or annihilated by an opposition team. You are feeling lonely. You would like someone to hug you. While most of us would like to swear, all of us would be kidding if we said no to a hug. You can walk into a hug anytime you want. Because she understands the state you are in at the moment. Because she was there, at that exact state, last week. Or the week before last.
She will pwn your guy friends in most football arguments. She will make you proud when she is there on the coffee table, or inside the pub, saying exactly why Brazil 1970 was better or worse than Hungary 1954 or why man marking is better than zonal marking.
She may not accept or agree with your viewpoint; but she will certainly respect your viewpoint and just say "agree to disagree". A welcome, refreshing change from your guy friends who insist on saying, "my way or the highway".
(This note has been written by Swaroop Swaminathan, a lifelong Arsenal fan. His girlfriend and best friend is a Liverpool fan, so there are fire-crackers each time they watch a match).
Now, I'm not dating my girl just because she watches football. That would be rather shallow and very crude. I'm dating my girl because I love her. But football adds that bit of zing to the whole thing. You talk of making love, you talk of that long beach holiday with your better, or bitter, half holding hands and walking into the horizon. And suddenly you see a ping: "Fuck dude", or "Shit man", or "Fuck", followed by a "United just scored, fucking scums". Or a "Gary Speed is no more." or something like that. Couples who are not really into football, or sports, might think this is an erection kill but I actually beg to differ. Your erection doesn't get affected. Your sexual desire is still the same. Your male libido is by no way made to feel inferior because you are seeing someone who is better than you at football. If anything, it gives you an opportunity to bond further.
Romantic candlelit dinners, followed by a long walk in the park under a crescent-shaped moon, coming back home, canoodling her, before finally letting her sleep in your arms. They are all part of being a perfect (?) boyfriend. But when you find someone who trawls youtube for that one moment of Steven Gerrard madness against Olympiakos in a Champions League game some years ago, you know readily she's the one. You need not empty your wallets lingering over the Dolce and Gabbana or the Fendi section in the local supermarket. Just go to some torrent website and download Liverpool, or Man United's, or Brazil's, or any football significant clip from the last 50 years. She will immediately watch it. She will want to watch it with you. She will be smiling through out the video. She will give you awesome facts about the match or the matches that you are currently seeing. You see her smile. You smile. Win win. It is not to say girls say no to Fendi. it is to say gifts are more readily accessible and available for a girlfriend who watches football. And while the videos maybe cheap, they are worth their weight in gold; more than the actual gold you might want to get her.
You are having an intense discussion about Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi when you see this really cute, slender girl, the one who you even might have secretly had a crush on in high school, come and add her two pence to an argument: "I find Ronaldo cuter than Messi". None of that happens here. It's a proper debate.
Your girl's club just lost. You have just seen her go ballistic hitting her hand against the door, slamming the door shut before walking away from the house. What do you do? I would like to say try and placate her. Be soft to her. Try and tell her you guys were good and you will win the next game. And say what could have been. But no. Don't do any of that. She doesn't want any of that right now. All she wants right now is some private time. A time for reflection on the 90 minutes as a whole. You will lose her for sometime. But she will come back to you when the moment has passed. Give her a hug then. Don't talk about the game. Just gently hold her hand and listen to what she says about the game. She will talk about it. And then is your moment to say you could and probably should have won.
You don't have to worry about taking your girl out to the latest Edward Cullen-Bella saga, or to the newest Shoppers Stop in town when the weekend is here. You just need to get some beers, make popcorn, and look forward to an awesome evening of football with her. Be there with her when the game starts. While she wants to watch the football, she secretly wants to watch it with you. With you having your back against the wall or the bed and sitting down. And she having her head against your chest with your hands around her neck. It's better than watching football alone. It's much better than swearing at a rival player.
She won't talk about Bollywood or Shah Rukh Khan because she is as bad as you there.
Make sacrifices. Both of your clubs are playing at the same time and you have only TV? Allow her to watch the game while you follow yours online. Or stream it. You make her happy. If your club wins, you watch the action on Match of the Day. Or catch the highlights the next morning. If her club wins, she will pick you up. If both of your club wins, you will talk about honeymooning in the Swiss Alps or sharing a coffee the next morning over the morning crossword. If your club wins and she loses, do not mention about your club's result. Leave her alone for a while but she will come back to you. Pick her up then.
She's the one who will play FIFA on a playstation or FM online with you. Not the one who will urge you to get her the latest high heels in the market.
She's not high maintenance. You don't need to worry about anniversary gifts. A box set DvD, to her, is more valuable and more precious than that very rare diamond ring or ruby stone you saw last month at the jewellery store.
Be brave enough to date this girl. She can be intimidating with her knowledge. You might get scared. But you can just go on talking on and on and on without feeling tired or the need to have a fag or the need to get the hell out of that place. Both of you can go on and on and on about a particular match like it was played yesterday.
She will not only make a good wife to you, she will also be a great friend. A wife may just retire to the bedroom when you are watching Ghana take on Zimbabwe in the World Cup. This girl will be there, by your side, supporting Zimbabwe, or Ghana. Both of you will take turns in making that extra coffee mug which will help in staying the night.
Watch her go up and down almost hitting the ceiling fan in the process as her club scores against your club. It, in a way, gives you some sort of joy. Make no mistake; you will feel some sadness because your football club lost. But you will not mind that loss so much.
It's also relatively easy to pick her up. Her favourite club's best or more famous video from youtube and she should be smiling within sometime.
Dark, dangling lights in the middle of the night when you are watching your favourite club getting crowbarred or annihilated by an opposition team. You are feeling lonely. You would like someone to hug you. While most of us would like to swear, all of us would be kidding if we said no to a hug. You can walk into a hug anytime you want. Because she understands the state you are in at the moment. Because she was there, at that exact state, last week. Or the week before last.
She will pwn your guy friends in most football arguments. She will make you proud when she is there on the coffee table, or inside the pub, saying exactly why Brazil 1970 was better or worse than Hungary 1954 or why man marking is better than zonal marking.
She may not accept or agree with your viewpoint; but she will certainly respect your viewpoint and just say "agree to disagree". A welcome, refreshing change from your guy friends who insist on saying, "my way or the highway".
(This note has been written by Swaroop Swaminathan, a lifelong Arsenal fan. His girlfriend and best friend is a Liverpool fan, so there are fire-crackers each time they watch a match).
Awesome!!
ReplyDeleteKya todd likha hai.. :D
But tell me one thing.. How many such girls can we find in India?
Answer mile to btana plz :P
Nice post... But the sad truth is that its pretty hard to find such a girl :( Especially in India
ReplyDeleteWell the last line dented the hopes.. to say the least ;)
ReplyDeleteWell written blog.. must say that the knowledge pertaining to football from a gal's perspective is intimidating.. was glad that the gal supported LFC.. and ya mentioning Stevie G against Olympiakos or for that matter that madness against AC Milan in the final.. having those crazy moments with your girl would do wonders in a relationship.. :)