Musings.
1. It is that kind of day: When I'm sitting staring at the computer screen, wanting to write copiously but words fail me; when I have ten tabs open but I don't want to read; when I read, nothing goes into my head; all I keep thinking about is just one thing (evidently) and where that will lead me. My brain is, clearly, in a supreme mess.
2. Been chatting with S off and on today (since she had nothing much to do, and was also writing a poem). Both of us want to write, but both of us don't want to write just about that crazy concept called "love". Which happens inevitably. She pens about the man of her dreams (non-existent), I pen about the man of my dreams (existent, but, well, erm... let's leave it at that). Both of us agree that we should move on to other topics. But I understand what she is going through. She is crazily in love with a man (much like me).... but for some reason, it's not going to work (maybe for both of us). So we pine and write and talk about how we are never going to find the suitable guy, and, at the same time, hiding our emotions well enough to project an aura of level-headedness, strong-headedness, practically and being unemotionally aloof (the truth couldn't be more far removed from the reality).
3. Been listening to "Going Nowhere" on loop today. [V says I should listen to another band at times as well. I do. Just that I have been caught up in Oasis now for whatever reasons and can't seem to break free.] Anyhoo. It's a haunting track, not exactly sad or melancholic or depressing. But just that the vocals and the music in the background give it a haunting air. And I love listening to it. Especially since I can relate to so much of it in my life right now.
"Hate the way that you've taken back,
everything you've given to me,
and the way that you'd always say
'it's nothing to do with me'..."
My life indeed right now. Apparently I am the "perfect girl" in every which way (so I have heard from a hundred guys and friends and what-nots) but no one is willing to take a chance on me for whatever reason (distance, fear of commitment, fear of ruining our existing friendship, fear of ruining "whatever we have right now", et al). Which makes me question my sanity. And my very existence at times.
"Here am I, going nowhere on a train,
here am I, growing older in the rain,
here am I, going nowhere on a train,
here am I, getting lost and lonely, sad and only,
why sometimes does my life feel so tame?"
I am getting older. Wiser, maybe? I don't know. I think I am. I have grown up, yes. The little kid in me still remains but I am trying very hard to suppress her. Is it bad? I don't know. Will it help? I don't know.
I really don't know.
Song of the Day: "Going Nowhere" (Oasis)
2. Been chatting with S off and on today (since she had nothing much to do, and was also writing a poem). Both of us want to write, but both of us don't want to write just about that crazy concept called "love". Which happens inevitably. She pens about the man of her dreams (non-existent), I pen about the man of my dreams (existent, but, well, erm... let's leave it at that). Both of us agree that we should move on to other topics. But I understand what she is going through. She is crazily in love with a man (much like me).... but for some reason, it's not going to work (maybe for both of us). So we pine and write and talk about how we are never going to find the suitable guy, and, at the same time, hiding our emotions well enough to project an aura of level-headedness, strong-headedness, practically and being unemotionally aloof (the truth couldn't be more far removed from the reality).
3. Been listening to "Going Nowhere" on loop today. [V says I should listen to another band at times as well. I do. Just that I have been caught up in Oasis now for whatever reasons and can't seem to break free.] Anyhoo. It's a haunting track, not exactly sad or melancholic or depressing. But just that the vocals and the music in the background give it a haunting air. And I love listening to it. Especially since I can relate to so much of it in my life right now.
"Hate the way that you've taken back,
everything you've given to me,
and the way that you'd always say
'it's nothing to do with me'..."
My life indeed right now. Apparently I am the "perfect girl" in every which way (so I have heard from a hundred guys and friends and what-nots) but no one is willing to take a chance on me for whatever reason (distance, fear of commitment, fear of ruining our existing friendship, fear of ruining "whatever we have right now", et al). Which makes me question my sanity. And my very existence at times.
"Here am I, going nowhere on a train,
here am I, growing older in the rain,
here am I, going nowhere on a train,
here am I, getting lost and lonely, sad and only,
why sometimes does my life feel so tame?"
I am getting older. Wiser, maybe? I don't know. I think I am. I have grown up, yes. The little kid in me still remains but I am trying very hard to suppress her. Is it bad? I don't know. Will it help? I don't know.
I really don't know.
Song of the Day: "Going Nowhere" (Oasis)
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